textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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