I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize