Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
