tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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