dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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