Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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