I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
