"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
