so that wasnt chicken after all
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
