That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
