i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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