If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
