Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
home. puking in laundry basket.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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