So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
