You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
