OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just want nice things and good sex
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
