Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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