You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
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another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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