are you so shy because you have an std?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
