He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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