my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
