So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
