if you like me you must not know who I am
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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