Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
