i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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