After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
