he was CRYING into my vagina
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
