I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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