2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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