Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Randomize
