One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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