Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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