Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
