i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
