This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
