I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
