I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
sex in a hospital.. check
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
