yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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