I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
