Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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