Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
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