Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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