so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
