Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
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I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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