No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
