So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
