Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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