singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
