I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
