He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
