hotel room ftw
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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