i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
