U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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