you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
