you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
