Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
