We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
