guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's blow job season.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
