Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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