People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
