He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
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