Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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