and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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