he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
