More tranny stories later!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
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I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
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"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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