All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Your dad touched me again.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
