Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize