Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
They took my balls.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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